So long, farewell!

My last post!

I'm logging off as a campaigner for promoting Christian dating. www.BigChruch.com is a wonerful website and i know many of you have enjoyed visiting the site and seeing what it has to offer. Like many it seems, i was a bit shocked that Christian dating sites were so popular as i think that dating sites have a hard time in society. There is a real stigma attached to couples that met online, no one ever thinks it will last!so to see such a large community of online Christians searching for love and friendship was refreshing!I also admired the site as its not only a dating site but also has space where people can chat, seek advice and take part in polls (which as we have seen are sometimes rather amusing!). BigChurch has led to me seek other religious dating sites and i have been surprised at the number there are out there. It would seem everyone perfect partner is just a click away, so happy hunting!

Good Friday

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From S.A. with love!

Just a short post to say.....I'M IN SOUTH AFRICA!! - the reason i shouted that was because its starting to sink in, how immense and accesible the internet is worldwide. As this dating site is avaliable for everyone around the world (providing they have access to the internet) i thought it would be rude not to visit BigChurch in South Africa......all i have to report is that its exactly the same!!

On a serious note, being over here has really opened my eyes to how big this on-line virtual community is, and that it is possible to meet people from all over the world, not just from your local area. But... i used to think that the internet was accessible to everyone, joining local communities together to create an international community, i don't believe this community is inclusive anymore, but actually exclusive. While in South Africa i have been aware of extremes, those in poverty and those who are rich. The distinction between the two is mind blowing, this got my thinking, while i have been discussing how good this site is by connecting people, i have neglected the large population of Christians that will have never seen a computer, or don't have the internet, or indeed access to it. These people must 'stick' to traditional ways of meeting others, sharing wisdom and advice. Don't get me wrong i think that this site is a brilliant porthole for many Christians to meet others who share the same beliefs, but i also think that many will miss out because of poverty, remoteness or simply because they hold local or family traditions. My only concern is that Christians might not attend functions, social gatherings etc. where they could meet future partners, as they might prefer to sit in thier pyjamas, drinking tea and searching through thousands of hopefulls, instead of say 5! I think that if internet dating keeps increasing in popularity traditions may be lost, people will no longer enjoy getting to know someone, or being wined and dined as by the time they meet they will already know everything about each other!

RainbowChristians.com

Another short but sweet post!! A few days ago i was discussing how BigChurch allow for same sex searches, i found this surprising but that was probably my narrow mind! (oh for those that want an update i did tell some of my Christian gay freinds and they were thrilled with the site!!)
Since then i have found a really interesting article online from a Boston newspaper in America, and i thought it might prove an enlightening read for some!This the link to the article http://www.edgeboston.com/index.php?ci=108&ch=news&sc=glbt&sc2=news&sc3=&id=18927, which is discusses an online dating service RainbowChristians. The website for this dating site is www.rainbowchristians.com, a fantastic site dedicated to same sex partnerships. Happy reading!

Only for the religious?

In my last post i posed the question, 'are there any non-religious dating sites that do not allow people who are religious to join'. I wondered if anyone had come up with any conclusions, or if anyone would object to such sites or if such sites are infact very popular?
I carried out a little research of my own and try as i might i can not find any online dating sites that do not allow religious people to join. Most of you will be thinking 'durr!', but i had to check as i don't know if i believe in one rule for one group and one rule for another, its seems like discrimination. I pose this question, if normal online dating services did not allow people to choose a religion, or a preference when filling out thier profile there would categorically be a backlash of angry people. Maybe to the extreme of media interest etc. What do you think?
I know that this is a community of people just like any other, for example you wouldn't expect to find the question 'what are your favourite fetishes' on an average dating site, unlike a specialist fetish group online.
While looking in the search engines i did find a lot written about online dating and religion. For more information see http://science.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=06/09/28/041227 for an anaylsis of online dating and http://www.urbanone.net/dating_blog/ an interesting blog all about online dating.

Free membership.....

With my find the other day about the affiliates it got me thinking and questioning whether membership is really free or not…..
The only way to find out was to sign myself up, so with reluctance I did! (join me if you want, the link ‘membership sign up’ on the homepage) The form was pretty similar to others you would expect from an online dating service. But one of the first questions asks people to describe their relationship with God. I thought this was a brilliant way of asking people how they felt about God without disclosing their denomination, as so far I got the impression that this site did not discriminate between different strands of Christianity. The answers range from ‘he is my life, my reason for being’ to ‘uncertain’ – note that not being a believer in God, not matter how weak, is not an option, this site is only for Christians.

#QUESTION - are there non-religious dating sites that do not allow people who are religious to join??#

The next question, which I didn’t think they would ask, is what denomination are you. As I theology student I thought that I knew pretty much all the different denominations….turns out I know about 5%!! The list of Churches to choose from is endless, I counted as far as 36 before I gave up and I hadn’t even got to letter C! Its nice to see that the creators of this online dating site what to be able to meet everyone’s criteria in a partner. Although they do ask this question, I don’t feel the site as a whole discriminated between different denominations, it isn’t obvious and it doesn’t show on people’s profiles. The rest of the form reads like any other online dating form, age, race, height, marital status, occupation and at the end the obligatory ‘I’m amazing, pick me’ essay! I’m sure it reads the same as any, ‘I’m kind, fun, good-looking and loving and enjoy walks in the countryside…..’ (note to self, probably not true if they need to use this site). Unfortunately I couldn’t finish the form as I didn’t really want to create myself a profile with my e-mail address! So I can only speculate as to what I think the membership is like – from previous experience I think that once you’ve signed up they give you the option of paying and receiving a better account, for example one that allows you to look at their picture, likes and dislikes or pet names! I’m still very sceptical as I don’t believe it is free, there must be a hidden catch….or am I just cynical?

Bingo

I've now just realised why this site is free! If you click on affiliates on the main page it all becomes clear. The site pay you to promote them, this is how the site gets it cause out to the cyber community. They offer 3 different ways of earning money, all by getting people to sign up (for free!), per member, percentage programe or broker programe. What the catch? you earn money and they don't.....seems suspicious, but apprently not. On closer inspection it is free to join to the affiliates and the money you earn is dependant on the affort you put in.

Hide and seek

Within the cyber walls of BigChurch, lies a tool that if we all could use, life would be a little easier. If you click on ‘browse’ you are red-directed to a place of wonder! I use the word wonder, really instead of the phrase ‘makes sense’ as I have never seen this before but I have since been told by my peers that this is ‘common practise’ on the web!

I’ve kept the suspension far too long now! In the browse section you can find all the different countries that this service is available to. Then once you’ve found that, you can then search individual states, counties or cities for someone you’d like to date. I love this as you can search all the members online from all over the world without having to move a muscle AND all for free! To use this service you don’t have to become a member, so potentially the creators have allowed people to search for suitable people before they become members, genius! Because I’m not a member you can only view their picture, age and where they are from, but to honest that’s all you really need to make an educated decision!

Something notable is that you can search for same sex partners. I know the BigChurch does not discriminate between different denominations, but I was surprised to see how open and accepting the site was to same sex partners. I have quite a few gay (both male and female) friends who are Christians, and one of the problems they have is meeting someone. They feel quite limited in choice as most go to LGBT churches or someone don’t go at all for fear of rejection. I can’t wait to tell them of this site now, as allowing same sex searches can open up so many doors for people feeling trapped or repressed, especially in a society influenced by social norms.

Gossip or an olive branch?

A short but sweet post to bring you all to the attention of popular member polls. This link is under the sud-heading magazine. There has been so many postings on this section since i first started looking at the site, i can only presume (from the quality of posts) that people are either bored or desperate to seek advice. These polls range from religion, virginity, first dates all the way to secret guilty pleasures. Furthermore there are more responses posted in reply to the polls, particulary on those polls surrounding the choosen people, God's witnesses, viringity and who will be saved. Why is it that polls of this variety create such a strong response, and varied? Maybe this could be because online forums and polls can be discrete, no-one feels judged, especailly in our modern society where are emotions and opinions can often be supressed. I think that Christians, especially those who are extreme in thier beliefs and practises might find discussing subjects on a site like BigChruch uplifting, as they know they are preaching to people who often share the same opinions. This is just my personal theory, but it would be interesting to know what propells people to ask complete strangers questions about life, death, heaven, virginity etc. questions that indeed shape our future and decisions. Does knowing about other peoples opinions, advice or criticism offer people hope or relief? Or is it merely a way of communicating to a wider community, an olive branch for a secular community?

BigChurch update - go on take a look!

A significant part of BigChurch is its blog, chat and magazine, which often does not seem to follow a religious theme. Also it is easy to forget that BigChurch is preliminary an on-line Christian dating site. This is the main reason people visit the site, not to indulge in on-line chatting and participation in polls! If you type Christian dating in any search engine BigChurch is always one of the top few! Links to this site are plentiful, it is obvious that the creators want it to get noticed!! I'm still surprised to see (even after my 100th visit) that membership is free, from previous experience and adverts i'd come to think that you had to pay to meet 'the love of your life'. I'm wondering whether this is discrimination! - if you don't belong to a religion you have to pay! Never-the-less the site doesn't preach beliefs and rites at you, its just a easy simply and seemingly free way of meeting other Christians online!

Online magazine, yes please!

A significant aspect of BigChurch is thier online magazine, that relies on people to make comments and write articles regarding Christianity, dating and love in our modern society. I have only ever seen this on educational websites where people can post articles, but as this is predominately a dating website i found this section most interesting. These posts follow a Christian theme, looking at different aspects of dating from breaking up to dating safety.

The section is broken down into different groups, members articles, advice lines, BigChurch polls and popular members polls.

The members section allows people to navigate thier way around many different religious articles and also allows them to post thier own. You can read, relate and post information on this online relationship guide. It seems to be a site where people can gain knowledge and advice about dating and Christianity from people all other the globe. They promote self awareness within this online community, encouraging people to get inspiration and to get involved.

The advice line seems to be like an online agony aunt section where people can get advice and answers from the most respected members of this online community. Anyone can post questions about marriage, dating, love, Jesus, Passages from the Bible and how they can be used in relation to our modern society. It seems any question is acceptable (obviously with a Christian connection) and all questions are answered. I think that is part of the website is so uesful and helps create a online global Christian community, where people with problems can seek advice without even leaving thier own home.

The BigChurch active polls are all sub-headed into different topics, ranging from 'Love and Politics', 'Opposite sex friendships' to 'Decision time'. Each topic allows you to vote on what your answer would be to certain questions. Take for example within 'Opposite sex friendships' the question reads 'Do you have many friends of the opposite sex?' the person can then vote in the poll to express thier opinion. These polls are interesting because they cover a wide variety of issues and questions relating to dating and love, questions that many people might ask themselves. However the answers that you can choose from are limiting and do not allow anyone to discuss thier views in detail. But anyone can take part, not just members.

However the members poll allows for an in-depth discussion of polls and contemporary issues. Scrolling through the topics gives a good idea to what the website holds for those embarking on a relationship, those already in a relationship and adivce for people who are confused. The topics are not listed under headings but are shown from the most recent posted. This section is less about giving advice, but more about posting your opinion. Only members can post information, but anyone can read. This section also allows for non-religous polls to take place, for example 'what kind of drink do you prefer?'. Anyone who signs up can post a comment, allowing a great deal of freedom. I expected to see only religious comments, not made through a lack of knowledge or interest but instead the posts discuss a wide variety of subjects, many with no theological criteria. The comments do not read like a debate and are often sporadic.

Love in the virtual community

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Christian dating on-line

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